Cry out in your weakness...

First, I must apologize for the delay in my writing. Sean always says it is better to not make a promise and just do the things you think rather than to proclaim something and then let everyone down when it doesn't happen.

Ilya has celebrated her first full year of life with us. What a blessing she is! It really is true what they say... time flies! She is walking around everywhere and wants to be outside at all times no matter how hot it is. She amazes us.

In April, Sean and I found out that we are expecting again! Baby number two will be here around January 3rd. We are ecstatic and can't wait. We have been shuffling around the house making room for another baby room. We are having a lot of work done to the house this summer. We are truly blessed to live in a school house, in a great town, and work for such amazing people that take care of us. As soon as all of the work is done I will hopefully post pictures of the "remodeling". As for decorating the baby room...that will have to wait until we find out if the new baby is a boy or girl. We should find out in August or September.

On June 18th, Sean and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary! How amazing...we have only grown stronger through the years and I look forward to the rest of my life knowing that I get to wake up and fall asleep with him beside me.

Out of all of these changes, my mind has begun to get the best of me. I cannot tell you enough how grateful I am to have Sean in my life. He is my strength and my peace in the storm. We truly were made for each other. He has a calm that I desire and long for and he says I keep him on his toes. Most importantly he has a way of pointing me back to God and helping me find my "strength within me" (psalm 46:5). When fear rears its ugly head at me...when that voice screams within me that I can't do this or that I am not good enough for the task at hand...somehow through the tears I hear God saying "No you can't do this...but I can." And I stand back up with renewed strength.

In my weakness I cry out and remember that it's not about me. I am human and cannot do the things marked out before me without the help of God. God must go before me at all times or I will continually fail. In my weakness God makes me strong. Part of the process is saying goodbye to my selfish thoughts that I have it all together, or that I can do it and I don't need any help.

God blessed us with Ilya, and now with a new child growing within...and Sean and I have said over and over that they are not ours...we are just raising them and loving them until God calls them. This house is not ours, the money we make is not ours, the yard we tend to is not ours, and we ourselves are not our own. We are God's property and here to fulfill His calling and will.

In my weakness I have discovered that spending time with the ones I love is the most important thing I can do right now. I am cherishing every second with Ilya and Sean, wonderful moments and memories that I am treasuring in my heart to draw upon from time to time. I am loving life and knowing that even on those bottomless pit days - there is a light shining from above and I will stand strong.

Hopefully I will post many, many pictures of the last few months.