Wednesday, February 24, 2010

What a week! Did you know that Ilya is now NINE MONTHS OLD?! I know...it is hard to believe! Seans parents came down for a visit this weekend and much fun (and pictures and videos) was had.

Yesterday Ilya had her nine month check-up. We woke up to snow and school was delayed until 10:00a.m. Sean made an egg (yolk only) for Ilya. She loved it! Since there was so much snow my dad picked Ilya and me up and took us to her doctor appointment and of course we ate at his favorite sandwich spot in Lubbock.

I was going to give the complete run down from the doctor appointment but I have lost the papers! Of course...it sounds just like me! I would lose my head if it wasn't attached! So from my memory: Ilya weighted about 17 pounds and was in the 25% for weight. She was about 28in. long and in the 95% for height, and her head was 17in. in circumference which put her in the 45% for her head size. I wonder if they mixed up the percentile for the weight and head because every time we have been in the past she is usually about 45% for weight and 15-25% for head size. I don't know! In other words she is a growing girl and the doctor said that she looks great!

Her eczema is really bad right now and the doctor said that she is working on inventing something for babies with eczema so she would put Ilya on the list as an "experiment rat" haha! Last night Ilya cried and cried as I pulled her out of the tub and began to put the lotion on her. I talked to her and soothed her and told her I was sorry she inherited my skin. But the good thing is that I know just how to treat and take care of it since I have had it bad all my life.

Ilya also had the worst diaper rash yesterday and this morning. We have been lucky to not have to deal with that until now. Poor baby! It looked terrible last night but I doctored it real good and this morning it was on the road to recovery.

My heart swells with joy every time I look into her eyes. I just love her so much!

If you didn't know, Ilya is eating table food now and I am still making homemade baby food. I highly recommend making your own from the beginning! It saves so much money and isn't as hard as you might think. Ilya's favorites have been sweet potatoes and butternut squash. Yum! She also LOVES macaroni (the veggie mac) and cheese (real cheese), black-eyed peas, brussel sprouts, chicken and pork. So far she loves to eat anything you put in front of her. She can also feed herself, well sort of...I have to put the food on the spoon for her and then she puts the spoon in her mouth by herself. We have been given the go ahead to now give her pancakes! I am so excited. About the only thing we cannot give her is real honey, peanuts or peanut butter, and egg whites.

Ilya just woke up from her nap so pictures will come later.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Change of direction, change of pace.

Once again I feel a stir within me, a tight grip around my heart, a fluttering in my stomach. I must go beyond what I do. It is not enough just to read and write it, I must start living out my faith every single day, every single minute, every single second. The direction and focus of my life must make the pivotal turn and be cast away from myself and onto Christ at all times.

I am only here a moment.

Death has once again reared its head in my direction and I am sitting here wondering what it is that I am living for.

"The length of our days is seventy years -
or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away."
-Psalm 90:10

I know a man that at this very minute is staring death in the face. And I fall prostrate upon the floor begging for mercy and peace for him and his family.

It brings back so many memories of my own grandfathers death. I watched the most godly man face death with determination, peace, and joy. And though we, his family, were all standing by with pain and sorrow he made sure that even his last minutes were spent with our focus on Christ alone. I am also reminded of my beautiful cousin that just stared death down recently when her daughter passed away. As I watched and mourned for/with her I was blown away at her grace, and strength she found in turning to Christ alone for comfort and direction. I am blessed with wonderful examples and teachers in my life who constantly point me in the direction of God rather than the direction of the world.

My focus must remain heaven bound or I will be dragged under by my emotions and thoughts.

So here I sit. I am ready and listening. Change is coming and the mask is falling off. From this moment on I am planning to record "The Incredible Journey" I am on in hopes that I am completely focused on God alone.

My goal:
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
It is written: 'I believed; therefore I have spoken.' With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
-2 Corinthians 4:7-18


Do you know Jesus my Lord? He is here in plain view...take a look and open your eyes, he will show it to you.





I am crossing the line.


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

It's a little dark but this is our bedtime story we read every night right before lights out. I wish you could see a little better because her face just lights up and she gets the biggest smile on her face when I turn the pages.

Daysea snuck into the house so we let Ilya have a play date before sending Daysea back outside.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Ilya with her truck and pacifier.

This is how we spend our day! Ilya drives and parks the car, plays with the pet, checks the mail and then comes home to mom!

Ilya and her beautiful laugh.

I usually put Ilya in her play pin and let her pick out which toy she wants to play with. This is the process.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Here are a couple of videos of Ilya:
This is Ilya playing Peek-A-boo with me and her stuffed animals in her play pin.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I just talked to my good friend Paige and she had me watch a video called cardboard testimonies and it reminded me of a song and video that I love! I thought I would go ahead and share it on here.



And here is the video that Paige had me watch:




In the book of Daniel, God is referred to as "The Ancient of Days."

"Every day the sun rises by God's permission. He never had a wink of sleep, and nothing has been hidden from His sight. God has been God through every single day of your heritage. If you're dealing with some ancient ruins, He was there when they first crumbled. He knows every detail. He knows exactly how you've been affected, and His expertise is reconstruction. After all Christ was a carpenter by trade. Nothing has ever been allowed to crumble in a Christian's life or heritage that God is unable to reconstruct and use." (Beth Moore, Breaking Free (the updated edition))

Psalms 78: 1-8
O my people, hear my teaching;
listen to the words of my mouth.
I will utter hidden things, things from
of old-
what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.
We will not hide them from their
children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,
his power, and the wonders he has
done.
He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their
children.
Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.
They would not be like their forefathers-
a stubborn and rebellious generation,
whose hearts were not loyal to God,
whose spirits were not faithful to him.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

In my bible study, Breaking Free (the updated edition) by Beth Moore, she shares an excerpt from It's Always Something by the late Gilda Radner.

"When I was little, my nurse Dibby's cousin had a dog, just a mutt, and the dog was pregnant. I don't know how long dogs are pregnant but she was due to have her puppies in about a week. She was out in the yard one day and got in the way of the lawn mower and her two hind legs got cut off. They rushed her to the vet and he said, "I can sew her up, or you can put her to sleep if you want, but the puppies are okay. She'll be able to deliver the puppies."
Dibby's cousin said, "Keep her alive."
So the vet sewed her backside, and over the next week the dog learned to walk. She didn't spend any time worrying, she just learned to walk by taking two steps in front and flipping up her backside, and then taking two steps and flipping up her backside again. She gave birth to six little puppies, all in perfect health. She nursed them and then weaned them. And when they learned to walk, they all walked like her.

Hosea 8:7 reads, "They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind."
Beth Moore goes on to say "Parents and grandparents must be very careful what they sow because it may bear wind in their lives and a whirlwind in the lives that follow."


God is opening my eyes so much these past weeks. I had already been gathering my thoughts and realizing how much my actions have an effect on Ilya and then my study today was over what you just read. I sit and wonder what else needs to change? What other vicious cycles do I need to put a stop to? Parenting has brought about a new realization of what my life represents or what I want my life to represent. Now it is time to clean "house" once again, and hopefully emerge as a "new" creation. Every day I must put to death the things of this world that rules my life and put on Christ. I know I will fail over and over but this is the first step and the most important thing is to not give up. I must keep my focus on Christ...it is so easy to lose my way and get sucked into worldly thinking and ways.

Lord, help me empty myself so that I can pour more of you in me!

Here is an interesting video I thought of when I was doing my study this morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4HSgvCBXdg

Tuesday, February 9, 2010





















We are on the brink of being nine months old! I am so blessed to have gotten the opportunity to stay home this year and watch our precious daughter grow! It really does happen so fast! Ilya has been crawling around since Christmas break and we are so close to walking. She likes to pull herself up on everything and now instead of wanting us to hold on to both of her hands to walk her around she only wants us to hold on to one hand. She is finding her balance more and more every day. She started holding on to only one hand just this last Saturday (2/6/10). We were at a bridal shower and Colt and Meggan were there. Ilya saw Colt walking everywhere and wanted to join in. Ever since the shower she has wanted to walk more and more. I am so blessed to have two amazing nephews that live close by. Kyler just celebrated his third birthday and Colt will be two in April. The cousins are like stepping stones in years and they are so close already. Ilya watches everything they do and tries to imitate it later on. A couple of weeks ago we were around Colt and he was flipping his pacifier in his mouth. That night when I was trying to put Ilya to sleep she kept flipping her own pacifier in her mouth. It took forever to get her to sleep!

Speaking of sleep, Ilya has become an amazing sleeper. Ilya had been sleeping through the night at only a month and a half. In October she got sick and I was going in there at all hours of the night. Needless to say she became accustomed to me entering her room at night and decided to stop sleeping through the night. It was beginning to wear on me so we tried the whole "letting them cry it out". It worked for a while but she was still wanting to wake up at five in the morning. I read in a book that we were not putting her to bed early enough. We had been putting her down around 9:00p.m. The book said that I should be putting her down around 5:30p.m. and no later than 7:00p.m. So once again we changed our routine bedtime was going to be about 6:30. It worked! Now we begin the bed time routine (eat, bath, milk, book, bed) around 5:00p.m. and she is in bed no later than 6:00p.m. Tonight she was fast asleep at 5:45p.m. Ilya wakes up at 7:00a.m. every morning. I am impressed!


We found out that Ilya had reflux in January. The Dr. gave her an antibiotic that she takes twice a day. It has made all the difference in the world. She has been so much more happier!

I am still breast feeding and am trying to hold out for a year. I do give Ilya one bottle a day for lunch. She is so funny about taking it. I used to cuddle her close as she took it but now she wants to sit up and take her bottle and just the other day she decided that she wants to stand and take her bottle! But she still wants me to hold it rather than her hold it herself. It is her way of showing me that she is a big girl now and not my precious tiny baby. She is growing up!

She has also started to throw things out of her crib if I don't enter the room fast enough. Usually it is just her pacifier but the other day I came in the room and she had thrown her pacifier, stuffed animal and taken off her pants and thrown them over the crib! I wish I had a hidden video camera in her room. Can you say temper tantrum?!

I love everything about being a mom. Ilya brings so much joy in my life and I thank God every day for her. I am truly blessed!

Monday, February 1, 2010

My life has changed so much the past eight and a half months. Every day I learn something new about how to be a mom. Just when you think you have arrived something new happens. I have become more aware of how I act/react towards situations. I am not the child anymore, and the world is no longer centered around me (not that it ever actually was but I sure did think it revolved around me). There is a line that is drawn, you can either become self sacrificing and put your child's needs ahead of your own or you can cling to your selfish behavior...either way something has to give, and change comes. The wake up call comes when you realize that your precious child that you brought into the world is watching everything you do. Whether you like it or not you are shaping your child's attitude, reactions, and her view of the world. Major self examination begins. I must learn to think before I react.
Today I acted out of anger...we have been without a washing machine for almost four months now. My dear sweet grandmother has been doing laundry for me. I have been as patient as possible but today got the best of me. When the service repair place called and told me the part will not come in until the 10th. I lost it. And then I fed the fire by thinking about it all day until I was shaking with anger. I called Sears and I let them have it. There was no reward for my anger. I am still without a working washing machine. Now I sit here and wonder what I have taught my daughter.

"Out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45)
"As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man." (Proverbs 27:19)

Now is the call to rise above. If I am feeding Ilya, what is feeding me? I scold myself for falling away from my time with God. It happened slowly...and then hit me like a train. I filled my "free" moments doing everything but turning to the word of God that had given me strength for so many years. I am grateful for wonderful friends that stand up and let me know/make me aware of how I have drifted. If my goal is to raise a child "in the way she should go" I must get back to the Word. If I do not fill my cup daily then the things of this world will pull me away. I want Ilya to see a reflection of Christ in me. I want to teach her how to respond in love rather than in hostility.

Lord, "create in me a pure heart".

I am a work in progress.