Ilya and I visited the gin office today and her cousin Colt was there too. It was time for both of them to have a little snack so Meggan and I thought it would be a good time to teach them how to share.

Take One: Listen carefully and you will hear Colt make Ilya say "please"

Lets try this again...Take Two:

O.K. Hmmm...Take Three:

Success!!! Well sort of...we will need to work on it a little more!

Today has been such an amazing day! Ilya has always woke up at 7:00a.m. on the dot (before the time change it was around 6 but we let her play in her crib until 7). This morning there wasn't a sound from her room. So I rushed and took my shower because on Thursdays it is a mad rush out the door to make it Thursday school. Sean came into the bathroom at 7:45a.m. to tell me that he was leaving for work and that Ilya was still sound asleep. He said he checked on her to make sure something wasn't wrong but she was sound asleep. I got dressed and enjoyed my cup of coffee and then at 8:00a.m. I could hear her sweet voice coming from her bedroom. She was sitting there reading her soft book in her crib. She was SO happy! Of course we were late to Thursday school but I didn't mind at all! Ilya missed her morning nap and then has slept for over two hours for her afternoon nap! I can't get over it!

I have been planning her ONE year birthday party! It's in less than two months! I can't contain my excitement! I am planning on having a ladybug theme. I am going to make angel food cupcakes decorated with ladybugs along with a richer ladybug cake. I don't want Ilya having a bunch of sugar so I decided on the angel food for the cupcakes. I've been thinking about how to decorate and everything. Just writing about it makes me shake with joy! I never knew how exciting planning a birthday party is! I am looking foreword to many years of decorating for different occasions!

Here is a picture of the cupcake design. I found it on the MarthaStewart website.

In the past, well lets be honest, past and presently, I have always had the thought "If I could just have ______ then I would be happy." Whether it be a new job, a hair cut, love, a new pair of pants...whatever. Funny thing is that when you do finally get that something that you have been wanting, you realize that there is something still unsatisfying about it and so the cycle begins again. "If I could just have ________, or if I could just have more of _______, then I would be happy."

No amount of status, or material possessions is going to fill that void. Until I fix my heart and eyes on "things above and not on earthly things" (Colossians 3) I will not find satisfaction. Not only that but I need to find time to REST and stop all of the chaos running around me before it drags me under. (I just talked to Sean and we discussed how there one can find God's peace in the midst of our chaos).


The past few weeks I have felt God nudging me and trying to tell me something. Over and over he has led me to the same place when I have prayed and over and over I have just shrugged it off because it wasn't the answer I have wanted to hear. Well...I'm listening now. I wish I had listened the first time he tried to get my attention.

Last night in my Bloomers Bible class a bible verse jumped out and grabbed hold of me.

'"to whom he said,
'This is the place of repose'-

but they would not listen.

So then, the word of the LORD to them will become:

Do and do, do and do,

rule on rule, rule on rule;

a little here, a little there -

so that they will go and fall backward,

be injured and snared and captured."

-Isaiah 28:12-13

Please listen carefully to what I am about to say, and please don't misunderstand me.

Before Ilya was born Sean and I prayed and prayed over what I was going to do with my job. To teach or not to teach? After much prayer we decided that I would stay home with Ilya. I could not wait, I had always dreamed about being a "stay-at-home" mom! This was my dream come true. Sean and I knew that the upcoming year was going to be tough money wise. But we faced the year with our hands held tightly together and with hope and love in our hearts. This was a blessing!

Now, I had a fairy tale vision of how the year would play out. And my fairy tale was awesome - the house would be immaculately clean, there would always be breakfast, lunch and dinner on the table for Sean, all the laundry and ironing would be done and put away in its proper place.

Ilya and I would laugh and read, play and walk. I mean, what more could I wish for?

I'd like to say that all of the above took place but that would be a flat out lie. Truth be told, I didn't even get supper on the table once before Christmas, my grandmother had to do my laundry and cleaning was one of the things that seemed to send me over the edge of what little sanity I had. Ilya spent the first eight months of her life screaming at the top of her lungs for most of the day and the weather didn't always cooperate for us to get out and walk. I was learning that there is way more to being a mother than what I had envisioned. Sean was away coaching most nights and that just added more stress. Most days I couldn't even find time to take a shower let alone run a brush through my hair.

This is the most chaotic my life has ever been - ever. But I wouldn't change a single moment. Around Christmas there was a change. I stopped getting on facebook during my moments of silence and started spending more time in God's word. I started making a to-do list but instead of getting all upset when I don't get something marked off I look at what I have been able to accomplish. I can now have dinner on the table thanks to an awesome crock pot! And most importantly Ilya and I spend her every waking moment just being together, crying or laughing, and just learning how this thing called life works. My focus is on Sean and Ilya first rather than on the crazy house. I could care less about what is going on in the world outside my door...the most important things to me are right here in front of me. It has taken a while but somehow I have caught on to finding my peace in Christ and not on my surroundings. Sean is always telling me that expectations kill - and it is so true. Babies cry, dinner gets burned (or not made at all), and clothes get dirty. It is all about the attitude that I enter into it with. Are there still bad, crazy days? Yes, of course, but now I have learned that usually when it gets tough it is time to laugh or just start dancing around. Ilya likes that side of me way more than the old side. I think Sean does too.

I can hear Ilya waking up in the next room - I'm going to take her for a walk. See ya later!

Here are a couple of videos that we have taken over the week. It takes so long for the videos to upload so I have to find an alloted time I can spend on the process.

This is Ilya playing with a balloon when we visited Great Grandma Martha.

This is a video of Ilya playing with the drum and listening to music. She is so precious how she hits the drum and then gives a big smile - she was so proud of herself.

Sean and I were tossing the ball back and forth and Ilya was SO excited, she kept giggling and raising her arms in the air. So we gave her the ball and she threw it! It was the first time she has done that! She was so proud that she raised her arms in excitement! So of course we grabbed the video camera and tried to catch a little of it on tape.

Spring break is in the air! We just got back in town from what Sean has dubbed our "skipping stone" vacation (Abilene, Dallas, and Bowie). It was kind of one of those adventures where you plan to do a million things and then reality sets in and you realize that in "real life" with a child you can't just get up and go...you work on their schedule. All in all it was a wonderful trip and we have decided to try and do it every year. First off, you cannot imagine how much extra luggage you have to travel with when you have a child. Sean and I shared one suitcase and the rest was for Ilya. Can you say "high maintenance"?!

OK...so here is the breakdown of our adventure. Friday, Sean had a track meet in Dawson so I was in charge of packing AND loading up the truck for our vacation. Yes, I hear you laughing through the screen. Packing used to be such a simple task...and then Ilya became more mobile. While I was putting things in the suitcase she was unpacking, with both hands. Needless to say I had to wait until she was asleep to finish up the packing process. Then it came time to load up the truck...hmmm...easier said than done. I am such a weakling to begin with but when you add a baby into the mix things get a lot more complicated. At one point I had Ilya on my hip, the phone up to my ear talking to Sean and a bag in one hand trying my hardest not to lose it. Poor Sean, he had just called to see how things were going and instead ended up with an earful! After several FAILED attempts at trying to load the truck I finally called my dad and asked if he could come to my rescue. And of course, dad came to my rescue! Next came feeding and bathing Ilya. No problem there since this is what is routine for her. BUT, the game plan was that instead of putting her to bed in her crib we would go through the night time routine but put her in the car seat instead and pray that she would fall asleep. That way our travels would not mess up her nap time routine and her night time routine would stay in tact. Things were going great and we were cruising down the road to pick up Sean in Dawson. My mistake was that I should have never stopped the car but drove around until Sean was ready because as soon as I came to a stop Ilya woke up and then screamed because she was still in the car seat! She HATES the car seat! Ilya proceeded to scream for about an hour as we drove down the road towards Abilene. Sean and I sat in silence, daring not to make a sound or stop that could wake her up once she fell asleep. We finally arrived in Abilene at about 10:00p.m. and successfully transferred Ilya into her pack-and-play.

Saturday we woke up in Abilene! Ilya was very playful and happy, especially since she had her very first zoo trip! Great Grandma Peggy had also made her way from Austin to visit and spend time with Ilya as well.

Ilya started the day off relaxing in the rocking chair. Then off to the zoo we go!After we ate lunch and Ilya had her afternoon nap we ventured out to the park beside Mark and Mary Ruth's house. Ilya crawled through the tunnel all by herself, and went down the slide several times with dad! And played the drums with dad. Then we relaxed and played with a couple of new toys that Mary Ruth had bought for Ilya.After Ilya had her supper and bath we once again loaded her up in the car and headed down the road. This time our destination was outside of Dallas to visit Scott, Bert, Hunter and Khol (my uncle, aunt and cousins). Ilya fell right to sleep, which was a blessing. Halfway down the road she coughed and made a very interesting noise. I looked back at her and she was asleep...a little while later we began to smell something. I stuck my hand back into her car seat and sure enough SHE HAD THROWN UP! Sean and I looked at each other wondering what to do. She was fast asleep and we were still two hours away. Sean had to stop and get gas so I wiped Ilya down with wet wipes but didn't change her since it was also in the car seat which defeated the purpose and it would completely wake her up. We made it to Scott and Berts at about 10:30p.m., changed Ilya and put her back down. I was worried that she would wake up sick but she woke up her normal happy self. Sunday we had planned to go to church at Casa View, where Sean had been a youth minister but the time change and travel took its toll on us and we didn't make it.

The main thing on our agenda for the day was to visit Sean's grandmother Martha who had fallen and broken two bones in her neck. We wanted to make sure Martha got to meet her great-granddaughter. Ilya wasn't shy at all and she played and played on Martha's bed. We stayed for about an hour and a half. It was a very nice visit.We stayed two nights with my aunt and uncle because like I said, in the beginning we had many grand plans of what we wanted to do in Dallas but then "reality" sets in...and a little thing called "time-change". I was really wanting to see my best friend Lucie who just had a baby last month but that didn't work out either. We didn't get many pictures of our time in Dallas because we were mainly in a car the whole time. On Monday, there were some workers out at my uncles house who were extending their drive-way. In the process they cut the cables for the T.V. and had to leave so that the cable people could come and fix it. Low and behold they left their machinery behind. I told Sean that the picture below will get us all thrown in jail! Kohl dared Sean to get in it - I, of course, was having a fit because I just knew they were going to come back and we were going to get in trouble! I am such a party pooper! Sean begged me to take the picture...so I did - I'm amazed it turned out because I took it in one second flat! I pointed, clicked and then ran inside the house! As you can tell Ilya was having a blast!We decided to leave for Bowie during Ilya's afternoon nap on Monday since it was only two hours (at the most) away and we thought we would beat the traffic. I am so glad we did because I ended up getting a little sick Monday night and spent a majority of Tuesday in bed. We arrived at Don, JoAnn, Blake, Wesley and Clay's house around 4:00p.m. What an awesome place! It is truly a little piece of heaven! They are in the process of building their house, though living in it now. I was so excited about seeing their house because it has always been a dream of mine and Sean's to build our own house. Their house is an oasis and I can't wait to see the finished product. They made us feel at home and JoAnn is the best cook in the world! Tuesday night we loaded up the car again and hit the road. This time we were headed home! Ilya did great and was thrilled the next morning when she woke up and realized where she was. I love taking vacations but in the end it is always great to be HOME! You know what makes coming home so much more enjoyable? Having a working washing machine. Yes, that's right! We have a new machine, and no it is NOT a Kenmore! Never, ever again. We decided on a Whirlpool. It's awesome, mainly because it works! Ilya likes it too. She stood watching it for a long time, she (and I) had forgotten what it looked like when one actually worked!

Today was the Brownfield Style show and Ilya was asked to model for Heartfelt Design. She modeled two cute dresses! In her second dress she modeled with Colt (my sister Meggan's son) who was in a matching outfit (in pattern only, not a dress!) Here is Ilya on stage...this is the dress she modeled with Colt and Meggan.

She just wanted to play with Colt!

This is the first dress she modeled.

Finally got a video of Ilya standing all by herself! I was beginning to think I would never get it on film because every time I would grab for the camera she would already be in the air or would see the camera and crawl toward me. Needless to say - Patience is golden and Perseverance is key!

Kyler pushing Ilya on her truck (9 months)

Ilya and her cousin Riley (Greg and his wife Kyley Martin's son) playing (9 months).

Ilya training for basketball! (9 months).

Ilya playing with in the recycle bins. She loves to pull the water bottles out and throw them on the floor. We will have to have a talk about littering!

Ilya and Sean's instruments. (9 months)

Ilya standing all by her self! We started standing up unassisted just this past Tuesday (3/2/10). I am trying hard to get a video of it!

Ilya playing with her baby doll. She likes to give her kisses. (9 months)

Ilya watching Pa! (9 months)

Ilya and Kyler looking at Pa with the horse. (9 months)

Ilya and Kyler wathching Pa through the window. (9 months)

Ilya in the tub at Nani's (9 months)

Ilya and Kyler in the tub at Nani's (9 months). Ilya has a little eczema where her pacifier sits on her mouth.

Another pic of Ilya and Kyler in the tub. They had a blast together!

Ilya being cute! (9 months)

Ilya feeding herself (9 months).

This is funny. I had noticed that the humidifier would be turned up one minute and then turned down the next and I just figured Sean was messing with it when he was in there. Come to find out Ilya was the one messing with it the whole time. Here she is caught in the act! She loves to turn the knob! (9 months)

My angel (9 months)

Ilya at the gin office getting into the candy jar. Don't worry she didn't actually eat any, the wrapper is still on - I don't want her to have any sweets until way down the line. You have to admit that it does make a cute picture! (9 months)

Ilya and Daysea (9 months) I love this picture because it is like they are both giving the same face! It is so cute!

Ilya and the frog towel! A gift from Grandma Mary Ruth (O'ma Roo). (9 months)

Ilya and Grandma Mary Ruth (O'ma Roo) when they came and visited in February. (9 months)

Ilya and Grandpa Mark (O'pa) when they came and visited in February. (9 months)

Ilya and Gradpa and Grandma (O'pa and O'ma Roo) taken from their visit in February. (9 months)

This is Ilya dancing to the Jazz music. This video was taken by Mary Ruth. (9 months)

"How is your spiritual life? How is your prayer life?"

Seven years ago today my grandfather, Alvin H. King (Mo), passed away.

Today is a hard day, a day of sorrow and rememberance. When you are young you don't really have a grasp on death and you feel like everything will always be the same. You believe the people that are in your life will always be there. Even when you find out someone in your family is sick you push it to the back of your mind and believe that everything will turn out fine. The next thing you know your whole world has been turned upside down and you cry out to God "Why would you do this?" and wonder if it is even possible for life to go on.

If you didn't know my grandfather then you truly missed out knowing one of the greatest men to ever walk this earth. I'm not just saying that because he is my grandfather. My grandmother, Ruth King, once said that if there was ever a man that had every excuse to go "bad" it would have been my grandfather. His father died before he was born and his mother died when he was sixteen years old. Mo would always say it was the saddest day of his life coming home to an empty house without a mother or father. They were dirt poor. One year for christmas his mother went out into the yard and searched for the prettiest rocks she could find in the yard and wrapped them up just so that Mo and his brothers would have something to open for christmas morning. Mo even signed up for athletics just so he could get a shower. His mom made his clothes out of potatoe sacks and he loved to tell the story about being picked on about his clothing and throwing the boy out the window of the bus. Through all of lifes ups and downs my grandfather found God and clung to him with all of his heart, mind and soul. He would tell me over and over that God is the only thing you can depend on because things of this world are fleeting, here one minute and gone the next.

He was the hardest worker you ever saw in your life, nothing and no one could hold this man back. He walked from Meadow Texas to Cisco Texas (a four hour drive) by foot just to teach his grandchildren self disipline (he was in his seventies). One year when I was in college at SMU I needed barbwire for a project I was doing. He drove all night and showed up a 5:00a.m. with the barbed wire. The year he died, before we knew he was sick, I had to work Christmas Eve and then also the day after Christmas. I didn't think I would be able to make it home. I didn't get off work until 11:00p.m. Christmas Eve and Mo drove all the way to Austin to pick me up and then we drove all the way home...we arrived in Brownfield at 7:00a.m. I was able to have Christmas for the last time with him, though I didn't know it at the time. He then drove me all the way back that afternoon. What greater love?

I could go on for hours with stories but I know my time is limited.

My grandfather was a great mentor for all of us spiritually. He knew the whole bible by heart and could quote just about any scripture from memory. The most important thing he taught me was how to pray. He would always call and ask three questions "How is life?", "How is your spiritual life?", and "How is your prayer life?" With him it was always a good time to pray.

You know how God can bring beauty out of ashes? It's true. Even though Mo's death marks a very painful moment in my life it also marks one of the most beautiful moments as well. Up until that day my faith had meerly been the faith of my families. Not my own. I knew what to say, and I carried my bible like I brought up and taught to do. But on March 1st my faith was put to the test. I remember laying in bed that night crying myself to sleep and being so angry at God. I was ready to wash my hands of Him right then and there. I had a decision to make. Either I was going to turn my back to everything my grandfather had taught me or I would hold on tight and find out who God really was. I took my first step toward God with a broken heart and a trembling hand. It didn't come easy, but it came. My grandfather had trained me "in the way I should go" and I followed his example. Now I believe with all my heart, soul, and mind. I fully understand now what Mo used to tell me now about putting my faith in things of this world that are here one minute and gone the next...by doing that I am left with a broken heart. When I put my faith and hope in God alone he binds up my broken heart and leads me home.

God does bring beauty from the ashes.